


Dear Danno: Letters from War

by Freyja



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-15
Updated: 2012-02-08
Packaged: 2017-10-26 02:31:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 14,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/277675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freyja/pseuds/Freyja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wanted Steve but all he had were this letters <br/>Slash McDanno</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Title: Dear Danno-Letters from War  
Author notes: Hi is me again, I love this fandom so I´m going to stay here for a while.  
Thanks to my beta Jerseybelle.

This is an AU where Steve never went to prison but was called back and was deployed.  
Again this will be slash so if you don´t like it.

 

Daniel Williams was in his office trying in vain to work. He had been very worried about one Steven J. McGarrett for the past nine months. His crazy partner had been called back and they hadn´t had contact with him, and that scared Danny to the bones because Steven had left not knowing how he felt about him.

Chin and Kono saw the men standing there with Danny and they knew, they knew in that minute what had happened. Kono had fallen and would have hit her head if it wasn´t for Chin.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The boss, Chin, the boss can´t be dead, please, Cuz, he can´t be dead, please, please, Chin.”

“We don´t know yet, let´s go see Danny.”

But when they got there they knew, Danny was pale and clearly in shock, his hands were shaking so bad and the officers were trying to help him.

“He went into shock...”

“Let us help him.”

“Danny, Danny it’s me, Chin, Danny”

Danny focused his eyes and Chin has to take a deep breathe because the pain in Danny’s eyes was so deep that it hurt to see. And Chin Ho Kelly knew for real that their friend had died.

Commander Steven J. McGarrett was dead.

Two weeks Later

***Danny was in his home now, he had finished the new bottle of whiskey and was about to grab another one, yep, whiskey helped Danny to numb the pain. Danny could drink to obliviouness, he could drink until he passed out, and because it was the only way that he didn´t eat his gun.

Gracie wasn´t there. Rachel and Stan had taken her on their trip around Europe and he didn´t have one fucking clue where they were and for the first time in his fucked up life he was glad He loved his baby but couldn´t deal with her now. He was in too much pain and despair; he was broken and didn´t want to live and knew his baby would be afraid. He didn’t want her to see him right now.

Besides, how do you explain that your best friend, your husband was dead?

Yes, Steven had been his husband, well he was, his goof has left the signed papers for the Domestic Partnenship and had taken Danny´s name and then left the papers for Danny to sign. Steven didn´t wanted to die, he wanted to come back home, come back to Danny and tell Danny that he loved him. Someone had stolen that from them, and left Danny with nothing but a broken heart.

Steven’s funeral had been full of all the pomp that war hero had earned. They had awarded him another medal, which was handed to Mary. She had begged Danny to sit next to her because she knew what Danny felt and what her brother felt and what his plans had been.

“You´re my family, my brother in law, you stay here.”

“They won´t like this.”

“Who the fuck cares? This funeral ends and we´re taking Steve home where he belongs, so he can be buried and mourned by our family like he wanted, as Steven James Williams-McGarrett”

“You would do that?”

“That was his name, Danny. He left the papers he signed and if you want to take his name, you just need to sign yours and make this legal.”

“First thing after we get home.”

“He loved you, Danny.”

“And I loved him, we just never got the chance...life is just so fucked up.”

“Amen to that.”

After the funeral they had taken Steven´s body back to Hawaii. Danny had signed the papers and taken it to a judge that allowed the name change. and his husband was buried as Steven James Williams-McGarrett, taking with him half of Danny´s soul.

Mary told him that the house was his and Grace´s. Steven had bought out her part a few years ago and even if he hadn´t, she couldn´t stand the pain there. She hoped he could change that. Most of Steve´s money also went for him and Gracie; Mary had her parents money that Steven had invested well, so she was taken care of. but all of Steven’s money, which was plenty went to him along with his life insurance.

Danny would gladly give it all up, the house the money, to have Steve back.

Later Mary handed him an envelope. He didn´t understand why she was giving to him because it said “Mary” but she explained it to him.

“It was my job, to bring them to you. He couldn´t expose himself like that so he made it look like he was writing to me. But they were for you, Danny. We had nothing to say each other although we knew we loved each other to death. They’re for you.”

So now, with his glass full of whiskey, he picked up the first one.

“I didn´t want this fucking letter, I want you, but...”

TBC


	2. Letter 1

Title: Dear Danno, Letter 1   
Author notes: big thanks to my beta Jerseybelle.   
Song by Rascal Flatts

“I can almost hear your voice in the morning  
Softly, whispering my name  
Oh, I’m getting so good at playing make believe...”

Danny was alone once more, sitting with a bottle in his hands. Chin and Kono had left. He knew Steve´s death had been blow that they wouldn´t get back. The cousins were full of rage and they wanted no one except Danny. Their Ohana had been broken and they closed ranks.

The Kalakaua’s and the Kelly´s had tried to get to them, only to be shot down. They now knew what Chin felt when they banished him, and Kono, well she was, as usual, with her cuz.

They had stayed with Danny for a while and now they were gone needing to be alone with their own pain and sorrow. Danny knew that they were dying inside; they just weren´t as strong without Steven.

Rachel had called and told him that he was an awful father because he didn´t try to call Grace; that she had given him their numbers, and some other bull Danny never heard because he snapped.

“Listen Rachel, I don´t fucking care what you have to say. I just lost my husband, Steve was killed. I didn´t call because I´m really trying not to die here and I’m not succeeding or caring at the moment.

I can´t talk to Gracie because I´m falling to pieces, Rachel, I´m not sure I´m gonna make it. I just miss him so much, that I can´t breathe...you understand why I can’t call.”

“Yes, Danny, I understand, I´ll explain to Grace. I´m sorry, Danny, and if it is a consolation I could tell that he loved you very much. I´m so sorry you never had the time.”

“Yeah, sorry seems to be a constant word now in my life. I’ve got to go, Rachel, I’ve got a bottle waiting for me...”

He ended the call before she could say something.

He was not getting better, his Ohana wasn´t getting better, so the Governor closed Five-0 for the time being. He should have cared but didn´t. Neither him nor the cousins cared, they were broken and didn´t wanted witnesses.

He was sitting on Steve´s lanai with a bottle, the glass long forgotten, with the first letter in his hand. He looked at the writing on the envelope, assuring himself that it was his goof’s handwriting. Danny´s tears were falling because he wanted the real flesh and bones Steve telling these things, not some letter, but it was all that he had.

“Yes everything is like, just like it use to be  
And I’m getting so good at playing make believe  
That I can almost talk to your memory  
Oh I know, I been clinging (I been clinging to) to some old memories  
Yeah but I don’t care (I don’t care)  
Because they bring, bring you back to me...”

Dear Danno,

Hi, Danno, it’s me your crazy ass SEAL of a partner. I´m writting you because, well, I´m not so sure but I think it’s because now I have your memory with me.

I though that I would feel good coming back to active duty again. But you won because is not the same. I don´t like having to leave you and our Ohana alone, I miss your rants, Danno, and I miss Gracie calling me to tell me about her day –(Give her a kiss for me would you)-yeah, yeah I know you don´t need anyone telling you that you need to kiss your daugther but tell her this one is from me, and don´t forget to salute her like I do, “Commander Gracie may I present you with a kiss and a hug from Commander Uncle Steve.”

Tell Kono I miss her, and don´t be mad at her; I like her style, it fits her.

At this Danny had to laugh, “of course you like her style is yours, you crazy goof”-

I don´t know how long I´ll be out but, Danno, believe that you´re always with me and when I come back home we need to talk; I have something to say to you, Danny.

Well, they´re calling me so I have to go, Think of me, Danno.

Steve

 

“And I love my memories  
I can almost pretend our love ever ended  
And that someday you’ll be coming back to me  
And Oh I’m getting so good, oh baby, at playing make believe  
That I can almost talk to your memory  
Oh I’m getting oh so good at playing make believe  
That I can almost talk to your memory  
To your memory...”

 

“Think of you, Steven? You´re all that I have in my mind. Why didn´t you tell me Steven? Why didn´t I tell you? We lost so much time and now I’ve got nothing more than pain and death wish.”

He went back to drinking his heart out and watching the waves wishing they could bring Steve back, and knowing that everything is changed-.

“Oh I’m getting oh so good at playing make believe  
That I can almost talk to your memory  
To your memory...”


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Rachel and Gracie   
Author notes: Hi I wanted to thank all those who left me a review and again big thanks to my beta Jerseybelle.

 

Rachel Edwards had been born in England. She was a well educated woman, who fell in love with a loud mouthed Jersey boy.

Her mother never approved of her marriage to Danny. She said that they were so different that it would only lead to pain.

She lived in a small home with her police man husband and was happy. Grace´s birth was the best day of her life.

But then the time came when her mother´s prediction became true. They were too different. He was a cop, and he was a great one, he had a will to solve cases that was almost impossible to match, but she couldn´t be a cop´s wife.

One afternoon she was having tea with friends when she saw the officers walking up to the little home. Danny had taken two bullets and was in critical condition. She picked Gracie up and went to see him. Her husband almost didn´t make it, but like always, his will of iron helped him. When the doctor told her that he was going to be fine, she threw up and then went to see a lawyer.

Stan was a businessman; He was rich and had a life far from the dangers of police work, so when he popped the question she said yes.

Danny had follow Gracie when Rachel took her to Hawaii. He hated Rachel with the same passion with which he had loved her. She was ashamed to say she was jealous of her daughter. Danny had left everything he knew for her.

Rachel knew that he was working in the HPD but he wasn´t happy; the pineapple infested hellhole was torture for him, or at least that’s what he told her, or rather, barked at her.

Everything changed and he was in the Governor´s Special Task Force, second in command to Lt. Commander Steven J. McGarrett, a man that could put James Bond to shame. The one time he smiled at her she almost fainted; he had to be one of the most beautiful men she had ever seen.

When she saw them work she could tell something was different, they were so funny together, the way the Commander bated Danny to listen to one of his rants always made you ask them how long had they been married. They argued, and Danny yelled and ranted about the crazy neanderthal of an animal that Steve was, and Steve just flashed this shit-eating grin and Danny sometimes forgot what he was saying and sometimes he yelled louder.

Rachel could tell he had an Ohana, as Grace told her. Chin Ho Kelly and Kono Kalakaua were, along with Steve, Danny´s new family; one that protected and loved Grace like Danny did.

Danny smiled more, he was happy and relaxed. He still ranted and hated her but he had a spark that Rachel hadn´t seen in years.

She saw them once again and could tell that they were in love, or at least Steve was. at that moment and when Danny smiled at him with a smile that she had never seen, she was sure.

She waited for them to speak, she waited for them to came and tell her that they were in love but they never did. Steve came once to see Grace and she could tell that he loved her and she was a part of him too. So she waited, she waited to tell them that she was happy for them, she kept waiting but they never came and Steven got deployed, and she saw the old Danny come back, but he was still the new one, too. Danny was worried, he was worried and lost, he needed his partner. She could tell that they all needed Steve.

She took Gracie to travel around Europe, but she kept waiting for them, for Danny´s happy ending, with Steven coming home and she kept waiting for them to call and tell Gracie that they were together.

She called Danny because she thought he had forgotten about Grace in his happiness to have Steve back. And that was then when she found out that Steven never come back. Steven had been killed and had taken Danny and his Ohana with him.

She went to see her baby; she needed to tell her. She and Stan had decided that Grace needed to know.

“Gracie, sweetheart, we need to talk.”

“What about, Mommy?”

“Well, Danno called.”

“He did, so Uncle Steve must be home. We need to go back, Mommy, now. I need to be there. Uncle Steve told me, he told me that he would ask Danno and I had to be there to give him the ring.”

“What´re you talking about. Grace. what ring?”

“That day he came to see me, you remember, Mommy, Uncle Steve came to talk to me about Danno and him...”

Flashback

“Gracie.”

“Uncle Steve, what´re you doing here? Is Danno…?”

“Don´t you worry, Danno is fine, but, Gracie, I wanted to talk to you.”

“About...”

“You see, Gracie, you know there are different kinds of love.”

“Yeah, mommies and babies, mommies and daddies...”

“Yes, but there’s also...”

“Uncle Steve, is this about you being in love with Danno?”

“What? How do you know?”

“Well, Alaini, that is my new best friend in the world, explain me that when two grown ups that were boys or two girls and they said they are partners they were in love so you and Danno are boys and you said you´re partners so you´re in love.”

“You´re friend is not entirely right but she’s not wrong either, Gracie, but with Danno and me, we´re partners because we work together. But yes, Gracie I´m in love with your Danno.”

And Steve waited for her reaction, one minute later Gracie Anne Williams was in his arms

“Yes, yes, yes. That´s great, Uncle Steve, I´m so happy for you.”

“You are?”

“Yes, you´ll make sure Danno is happy right?”

“Yes, Gracie. I have to go now, The SEALs need me, but when I come back I´m gonna ask Danno to marry me. You would like that idea?”

“YES!!!!!!”

“But you can´t tell Danno, OK?”

“OK, Uncle Steve, I won´t tell Danno.”

“And ,Gracie Daisy, can do you do me another favor?”

“Yes, Uncle Steve, what do you need?”

“Can you keep this for me so the day I come back you can help me ask Danno? Can you do that, Gracie Daisy?”

 

End Flashback

And Grace showed a stunned Rachel the two silver rings. One said, in Latin, “Amore Aeternum” –Eternal love- and the other one, in Gaelic, “Mo Anam Cara” –My soulmate-

It was at that moment that Rachel, between tears, explained to her baby that they needed to go back home because Danno hadn´t gotten his happy ending. Rachel cradled her baby as they cried together for Danno and Steve, and because they didn´t get their happy ending.

TBC


	4. Letter 2

Title: Dear Danno letter 2

Author Notes: I wanted tos ay big thanks to all of you who left me a review they mean so much for me. So thanks.

Again Jerseybelle you rock, my amazing beta.

Song by Chris Rice

Danno was in Steve's office and Chin and Kono were with him, the latter still pissed because some moron had the audacity to set foot in Steve´s office, claiming that he needed something. Kono almost beat him, Chin´s eyes flashed, telling this rookie that he was not to be messed with. , And Danny, Danny was just sad because Steve wasn´t there.

Steve hadn´t have much stuff, having been in the Navy for so long he was used to not have stuff, but what he had was in pristine condition. Danny went through all of it with Chin and Kono near, and for the first time since they got the news that Steve was dead, they laughed. Then they got a picture that Steve had on his desk.

"I remember that day, we were celebrating Chin´s birthday, remember Dan?"

"When did you fall in love with me?

Was it out of the blue

'Cause I swear I never knew it

When did you let your heart run free?

Have you been waiting long?

When did you fall in love with me?

When did you fall in love?.."

But Danny never answered because he was looking at Steve´s eyes as they looked at him and then he looked at his Ohana.

Chin was the one to answer his unspoken question.

"Yes, I´m pretty sure he knew by then."

"If you knew, why in the hell didn´t you tell me? Why, Chin? Why didn´t you beat us with an iron bar and make us face those feelings?"

"Because I´m human and I screwed up."

"Yeah, right there with you, brah. I lost my husband, my crazy goof, because I screwed up. I wasn´t man enough to grab him and kiss him."

"Neither was the boss man, Danny, you..." Because she didn´t know what they were going to do without the boss man there.

Chin, sensing his 'cuz's change of mood, took her and left Danny alone in the office.

Danny took the picture with him as he left the building and took a cab to their home. Danno couldn't stand the sight of the Camaro; he had loved that car, but now couldn´t stand to be near it.

The taxi driver was listening a song that almost made him cry.

"When did you fall in love with me?

Was it out of the blue

'Cause I swear I never knew it

When did you let your heart run free?

Have you been waiting long?

When did you fall in love with me?

When did you fall in love?

Was it at the coffee shop

Or that morning at the bus stop

When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand

Or the time we built the snowman

The day at the beach, sandy and warm

Or the night with the scary thunderstorm

I never saw the signs

Now we've got to make up for lost time

And I can tell now by the way that you're looking at me

I'd better finish this song so my lips will be free..."

Danno listened to the words and he could feel all over again, and he was bitter because he wasn´t getting a chance to make up for the lost time. Danno and Steve didn´t have a new chance because someone had murdered Steve, taking him from Danny´s arms.

When he got home, he pulled out Steve's letters. He had never read past the first one.

Again he checked the handwriting; this time it was a paper with a alligator on the bottom. Where Steve found that paper he didn´t know, but he loved it.

Hi, Danno,

Yeah, I know only your daugther, "Commander Gracie" gets to call you that, but can you make an exception for me? –(Insert Lost SEAL eyes)-

We are getting closer to our first target, Danno, I can feel it. This is bigger than we thought, but I´m confident I won´t die here. I have a lot to come home too ;)

I miss my commander a lot. Did you give her my kiss and hug?

I´m not scared, Danno, but it's not the same. I´m thinking about this being my last mission, you know. I want my Ohana, I want to settle down, Danno, and I don´t know, but maybe I´m analizing you and rambling; you would be the silent one, Danno.

And Danny could see Steve smiling at this sentence.

Today I sent a kid back to the base; he wasn´t a SEAL. He was compromising our positions so I pulled him out. He yelled at me for ruining his reputation. He had NO REPUTATION other the one the Navy give him. I was really angry because we´re working very hard, Dan, to stay safe and get through our mission and this stupid person comes and blows all to hell. No, no, I have someone to come home to, I think, so anyone who isn´t careful of proper procedure will face my wrath, jejeje.

How is our Ohana D? tell me. Have you destroyed all my efforts to make Kono a badass like me? Or did you became Chin´s number two in technology? Tell me, Dan, I want to know, write it down so when I get home I will know.

I have you with me always, Danno, you´re my partner, my back up.

Do you think in me?

See you Danno,

Steve.

"Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love

I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall

Have you been waiting long

When did you fall in love with me..."

Danny´s tears were now his constant companion. Steve had loved him for so long, but the big goof had been afraid, until, like the amazing super SEAL that he was, battled those scary feelings away leaving him only the good ones It hurt so much to see how badly Steve had wanted to come home, home to Danno, and Danno cried harder.

When did you fall in love with me?

Was it out of the blue

'Cause I swear I never knew it

When did you let your heart run free?

Have you been waiting long?

When did you fall in love with me?

When did you fall in love?

"Isn´t fair, but then again nothing in my life is," he told the air and went to find a bottle so he could drink his sorrows away, hoping that would lead back to Steve.

TBC


	5. Mary Ann McGarrett

Title: Mary Ann McGarrett  
Hi, this is a new chapter of this story.  
I wanted to say thanks to all of you who left me a review and you had given me something to think.  
Thank you, amazing beta Jerseybelle, because without your help I would be lost.   
Warning this is strong so be careful.

 

Mary was the youngest McGarrett. When she came into the family they already had her brother Steven.

Growing up with him was hard; he was perfect, tall, muscular and strong. He was their father´s son and she swore that her mother’s eyes shone brighter when he was around. They had a very close bond that neither Mary Ann nor her father could touch. Despite that, she loved the freak, as she called Steve, but it was hard to compete with someone that made perfection seem easy.

When their beloved mother died, everything changed; their father shipped them out. Her brother suffered the most, she was always better at protecting her emotions. Steve, you just had to look at his eyes and you knew, Steve wore his heart in his sleeve.

Then everything changed again. Steve joined the Navy and later the SEAL’s. He built iron walls to protect his heart. According to some of their father´s contacts, he became one of the best SEALs, but it cost him so much.

Then their father died and he came back home, but she didn´t want to know because he had left her too and she was still angry. She knew their father had been murdered and if she didn´t hate the man who murdered her father she would have pitied them. They had unleashed hell on themselves because she knew her brother would hunt them down.

Chin Ho Kelly and Kono Kalakaua had been OK to meet but it was Danny “Danno” Williams who left her with a feeling, she saw her brother and the Haole interact and it took her back to their parent’s happy days, they were like an old married couple, they were amusing to see them, Danno ranting and her brother listening with a smile.  
She, for the first time since their mother´s death, saw her brother´s eyes shine. Her freak was in love, but she could tell he was scared, too.

When she was kidnapped, he brought her back, but she never doubted that he would find her. When they found her she saw that even when Danno was angry NO ONE was getting close to Steve; he would guard him with his life. It was then that she knew that Danno felt something for her brother.

When he sent her away, she could tell that he was hurting but Danny´s hand in his shoulder told her that Danny would take care of him.

Then the freak started calling her, wanting to mend their relationship. They started their weekly chats, and after months he finally said to her, “I love him.”

She heard him explain his plans, he was so alive, she felt hope for the first time because if he could maybe she could too.

When she saw those men at her door, she knew; she collapsed there, she couldn´t breathe, he was dead. Her big brother was dead.

She lost it, almost broke everything in her appartment, and then she called him, Danny was as broken as she was or maybe more. Mary would swear that the only reason he didn´t eat his gun was because of Grace.

Her brother’s funeral was full of press and pomp that her brother hated, they awarded a post mortem medal, she almost told them where they could stick it, she just wanted Steve back.  
Then she and her brother in law took him back home, where he belonged, and Steve wasn´t alone anymore.

Now her days were full of ghosts, she saw and heard him everywhere. She wanted to drink to oblivian, she was a broken woman and didn´t have it in her to fight. She wasn´t strong, she just wanted her brother back, the one who used to sing her when she was scared. She could close her eyes and hear him.

“Its´s OK Mare don´t be afraid.”

“Song, please.”

And he started her favorite song.

“A dream is a wish your heart makes  
When you're fast asleep...”

Come back Steve, big brother, come back...

“In dreams you lose your heartaches  
Whatever you wish for, you keep...”

He was giving her his bear hug, protecting her from the meanies of the world.

“Have faith in your dreams and someday  
Your rainbow will come smiling thru...”

There were no colors anymore, just a gray space that made you claustrophobic; no music, just a deafing silence that drove you insane; tasteless food that made you want to throw up, and broken lives that made you want to close your eyes and never opened them again.

“No matter how your heart is grieving...”

She didn´t have a heart anymore, she had lost everything; desolation was her companion nowadays; desolation, pain, despair, anger, regret, sadness, guilt and that achy feeling that wouldn’t go away.

“If you keep on believing  
The dream that you wish will come true...”

So she closed her eyes; maybe if she didn´t opened them again he would be back. She closed her eyes, hoping that her brother in law didn´t followed her soon, so there would still be a McGarrett alive; she just couldn´t do it anymore. She sank in her tub dreaming of her home beach, and with a smile saw her mother awaiting for her.

Now she just had to find him and her wish would come true.

 

Author notes: Hi I wanted a little space to explain WHY I did what I did.   
First, I´m a catholic woman and suicide is a sin for my religion, I don´t think that way, I don´t like it but I understand why someone would wish to end his/her life like that.  
For me, even when Danny is devastated about Steve´s death, Mary is right, Danny has Grace and he would never leave his baby but Mary is alone, yeah she cares about Danny but it isn´t the same, Danny was Steve´s husband not hers and Steve was after their parents death her only family left and the one who carried her and now he was gone.

So, for her to make this decision, isn´t rare.

I´m sorry if I offended you but I tried to make this as careful as I could.


	6. Letter 3

Title: Dear Danno - Letter 3   
Author notes: hi this the third letter I wanted to say thanks to all of you who left a review, and big thanks to my amazing beta Jerseybelle.

Danny was the last one. There were no more McGarrett’s, he was the last one carrying that name. He was now known as Detective Williams-McGarrett and he would be the last one.

She was dead, he had just buried his sister in law; Steve’s baby sister had killed herself because she couldn´t take the pain.

The stupid, fucking bitch killed herself because she couldn´t take it anymore. BULL, she was just a coward that couldn´t deal with it. That was what he was telling himself until a voice in his head reminded him that if he didn´t have his Monkey and family, he would happily eat his gun and be damned with it.

Danny was angry, enraged because he failed; he failed Steven in taking care of Mary. He should had known that she could do something like this.

“Son of a bitch.”

“Danny?”

“I failed, Chin, I failed him.”

“No, Danny, you didn´t fail Steve, you...you…”

“I what, Chin, tell me. I fucking failed him, because I should have known. I knew Mary wasn´t fine, but I´m drowning in my own despair. Chin, I´m drowning and I didn´t see that she was slipping, I should have known, I´m a fucking detective, Chin, but I didn´t and you want to know something?”

“What Danny?”

“I envy her. I have Monkey, my baby, the one I never call because I´m too fucking drunk to do it and I have my family in Jersey and I have you so I can´t leave you alone, I can´t eat my gun like I want to. I can´t sleep, Chin, I just want him back, Chin, you understand, I want him back. I never had him in my arms but they ached with need, I craved what I never knew. I can´t fucking cry at my sister in law’s funeral because I don´t have any more tears, and I fucking envy her because I want to follow her. I know she´s happy now because he´s hugging her and I want that, I ached for his hug, Chin, I´m fucking drowning, Chin and I´m scared that someday maybe not even Gracie can be enough of a reason for me to keep existing.”

“Danny, I can´t give you reasons, because, brah, I don´t have much. I´m struggling and so is Kono. Steve was Ohana, the kind that never turned his back at you. Steve was Ohana, Danny, he give me a reason to get up in the mornings, he give me back my pride he gave my cuz a place to prove herself beyond the fact that she was the cuz of a “dirty cop”. He was Ohana, Danny, for her and for me and now we´re sinking I can see that and I don´t know if we will be strong, but I can tell you this, you´re not alone, we´re there with you, Danny. So when you can´t find a reason, you call me or Kono OK, and WE WILL BE THERE to give you one and we will stay with you because we owe you and Steve that, because he would have thrown a fit if you follow him without see Grace first child fist you understand, so we had become you guardians Danny and you can keep being ours, so when we can’t find a reason, we’ll call eachother, ok?”

“OK.”

And after leaving Mary next to her brother they left the cemetery together.

Danny knew that he couldn´t keep drinking but he needed the alcohol to numb the pain because even when he had agreed with Chin, he knew deep inside him that he may be fighting a losing battle.  
Again, in Steve´s bed with the photo of Chin´s birthday near him, he opened the next letter.

“Danno,”

Hi, Danno, this is the third letter that I’m writing and I´m thinking about sending them to you, but I don´t know, maybe I´ll wait.  
How are things back home? Are you behaving, Danno? And by behaving I mean, tell me at least you blow up a car or throw a suspect in the shark tanks every once in a while.  
We completed the assigment here but still this mission will be long, we have a long road to cover. Well, enough about me.  
Tell me, Danno, how is my princess? Did you give her my kiss? Because I will find out if you didn´t and I´m going to get very angry if you deprived my princess of the kissess she deserves-Tell her that Uncle Steve loves his princess-  
I miss you, Danno… and Danny froze because Steve´s feeling were scaping him.  
Yeah, I have said it, I miss you my friend.

Danny, who knew Steve would have had to be afraid of scaring him, again closed his eyes in sadness at never having the chance of telling him that he missed him back and that he loved him. Danny´s tears appeared.

* I´m a bit annoyed the second that they send me in this mission is making me angry again.Fuck, I miss you, partner. You know how to have my back.

Danny I just wanted to say that you and I need to speak to each other. I need to tell you something, Danno, and I hope you won´t get angry at me.

Wait for me, Danno, I´ll come home. I promise.

Steve

Danno could see Steve’s resolution to tell him about his feelings. Danny now could only dream how that moment could had been.

“What would you had done, Steve? Goofus, what would you have done?”  
And with his letter clutched in his hand and thanks again to Jack, he welcomed the blackness that was now his world.

TBC


	7. Kamekona

Title: Kamekona   
Hi again, Happy New Year. I hope this year brings you what you desire   
Thanks to all of you that left a review or put in alert this story. I love you guys.  
Amazing thanks to my wonderful beta Jerseybelle.

 

Kamekona was a businessman who always had something going. His shave ice was popular and he should be happy but he wasn’t. He was watching his friends in the 5-0 sink in the pain that losing his brother from a different mother brought.

Steven McGarrett-Williams had brought so much change into his life He had always been a lonely man, sure he had contacts but Kamekona was Kamekona. Somehow the crazy duo and their sidekicks manage to change that, they became his family, they accepted him and they came to him when they needed help and they included him when they had something to celebrate.

When McGarrett was deployed he prayed to every deity he knew to assure his safe return, because he knew that without the Commander 5-0 would be lost.

Kamekona always knew about the feelings that the head of the task force had for his second in command, his eyes always give him away. No, when you knew him well enough you knew, but otherwise the commander was a close man.

Williams was better at hiding, but you knew it too, while McGarrett were his eyes Williams were his rants, and Kamekona could tell that he was very worried.

He had no problem with them being in love, love is such an amazing gift that you had to hold on to if you´re lucky enough to find it in the first place. He waited for a long time for those two to come clean and he was more than ready to bang their heads together in order to help them, but he never got the chance. Steven McGarrett had been killed in action.

He was there when Danny Williams-McGarrett and Steve´s sister brought the body back to be buried here. He saw all of them crumble. Their pain was too much, and he feared for them, he saw the Hawaiian Warriors fall into a dark place.

He saw the way they closed ranks, they saw the others look at them with pity and some of them with glee because they had always envied the success of the task force.

He saw Kono spiral into dispair, he saw Chin embrace a rage they knew nothing of and he saw Williams get lost in the shadows, and he saw himself incapable of doing something to help Hawaiian Warriors because he understood that they had lost their heart.

So he brought them food every day. He brought them Spam and his spicy foods, drinks, shave ice, anything to help them but nothing worked. He called upon his gods to help him help them but they never answered.  
The Hawaiian Warriors had lost their centre.  
Then Mary Ann McGarrett killed herself and he understood that they all walked along the same edge and he keeps praying that a miracle would come.

He kept praying for his Hawaiian Warriors.

TBC...


	8. Letter 4

Title: Dear Danno letter 4  
Author notes: HAPPY NEW YEAR I HOPE 2012 BRINGS YOU HAPPINESS  
Hi, I know it’s been a while but I have a new job that takes a lot of time.  
Big thanks to all of those who left a review.  
Big thanks to my amazing beta, Jerseybelle; you deserve a monument.  
Song: Not a Day Goes By – Lonestar  
Hi this chapter is dedicated to my very first fan the person who left me the first review here Horndog333 this is for you and your reviews Thank you :)

 

“As I look into your eyes  
I see all the reasons why  
My life's worth a thousand skies...”

Danny now sleeps with Steve´s picture taken at Chin´s birthday. He made a bunch of copies. He knows he´s going crazy, he can feel the madness around him, and he can feel the darkness.

His mom is here and he really missed her but now he can barely hear her; it’s like he can´t understand a word of what she is saying.

Chronic depression is what she tells him, and he wants to laugh at her, because of the stupidity she’s talking about, he won´t get better, hell he isn´t getting better, he´s getting worse, like he doesn´t have a reason for waking up in the morning. He loves his daugther but he knows Rachel will take care of her.  
He can´t even see her face anymore, he isn´t getting better, he´s worse, if he doesn´t drink, he can´t sleep; he’s awake all night talking to Steve’s ghost. He laughs because even as a ghost, Steve is a lunatic

He can see him, if he tries hard he can almost touch him. He can see Steve smiling at him.

“Danno, why wait for back up; you´re here and that´s enough.”

He can hear him; Steve is always there with him. Once Danno was in the middle of a debate with him when his mother called him from the kitchen and he got really angry at her, because when he turned around Steve was gone.

He knows Chin and Kono are here just because he is. Without Steve, Kono lost a ferocious big brother that allowed her to be free to become herself.

Chin lost the person who gave him back his honor, the person who had his back when the doubt and pointed fingers were too much to bear.

Malia and Charlie can´t understand, they weren´t Ohana, they weren’t there from the beginning. They tried to help but even they could see that they were getting lost in shadows.

“I still wait for the phone   
In the middle of the night   
Thinking you might call me   
And it still amazes me   
That I lie here in the dark   
Wishin' you were next to me   
With your head against my heart...”

 

He had a new letter in his hands. He was determined to read them all.

Dear Danno,  
Hi, Danno, it’s me again.

Today wasn´t a good day. We lost a man in action. Oh. Danno, he was no more than a big kid, full of adrenaline and proud of being a SEAL, of being allowed to be with us, to be with the grownups. I don´t really like loosing men, Dan, I mourn for him, I ached for him because he has nobody to cry for him.

I´m lucky in that way because I have you, my Ohana. I´ve been thinking of you, Dan, in our family because we´re conected by them as a family. These days, when nightmares don´t let me alone, you´re my guardian.

I miss Princess Gracie, she´s always here with me. Is she happy, Danno? Are you making her happy? I know you do because she´s your sun.

I feel so alone now, I understood that they expected me to guide them, to be their leader, but I´m not so sure I can do that. I´m scared because their lives are in my hands and for the very first time I don´t trust my surroundings. I don´t know, Danny, something is not right here, I can feel it.

I miss you guys, I miss you, Danno. Tell my princess that I have some ideas for our assignments and that the annoying Ken will be defeated.  
Wait for me, Danno, I´ll come home. We have something to talk about.

Steven

“Not a day goes by   
That I don't think of you   
After all this time   
You're still with me it's true   
Somehow you remain   
Locked so deep inside   
That baby, baby, oh, baby   
Not a day goes by...”

“Oh babe, you never came back, why, Steve? Why not?”

And Danny went back to his conversation with Steve´s ghost.


	9. Stan

Title: Stan   
Author notes: Hi, this is the next chapter of the story, I hope you like it.  
Thanks to my amazing beta Jerseybelle for her help.

 

Stan was an educated man; he went to the best schools and got the very best of everything. Always raised in money, he was used to the best. He had a lot of women, like him raised in money, but they lacked something.

He was in New Jersey for a bussiness trip the first time he met her. She was an exquisited woman named Rachel, but there was a catch, she was married and had a little girl. He considered his choices and he decided to take a chance. She was everything he wanted, beautiful, refined and tired of her life there.

They saw each other for six months and the only thing he got was a few kisses when he came to see her. He knew her husband was a police man and that deep down she loved him, but according to her, love wasn´t enough. She couldn´t be a cop´s wife anymore.

One day she called him and told him that she had filed for divorce; two days later he asked her to married him. She said yes.

The first time he saw Daniel Williams he knew that this man loathed him. His blue eyes and posture told him that he will never be able to win his trust or any kind of sympathy. In Williams’ eyes, Stan, along with Rachel, was responsible for taking his Monkey to this pineapple infested hellhole.

As far as Stan could see, Danny, or “Danno” like Grace called him, was a loud mouthed detective, brilliant in his job, a job that he loved and was good at..

He gave Rachel money to hire an attorney that limited Danny´s visits. He could tell that Grace hated him, she had Danny´s expressive eyes. Rachel tried to make her called him ‘Daddy Stan’, which he didn´t want because he wasn´t her father but he never expected the Step-Stan. The first time she looked into his eyes and sneered “bye, bye Step-Stan” he had managed to fix their relationship; they were friendly, but he knew he would always be the man that made her mommy hurt her Danno.

Steven McGarrett scared the hell out of him, he was an imposing man, someone you couldn´t miss. He also knew that McGarrett loathed him; he could see the looks he received from the man. First he thought it was because of loyalty towards Danny until he met the other two members of the task force and they all looked at him like a bug that they wished they could kill. Danny Williams´ Ohana was scary, but Steve McGarrett was downright terrifying. When Rachel made a move to suspend Danny´s time with Gracie, Steve made the first threat and called the Governor. There was a new player in the game, Danny wasn´t alone anymore; Steven McGarrett in protective mode could be lethal.

It took him six months to figure out that Steve was in love with Danny and Danny felt the same about Steve. He knew Rachel was aware and she seemed happy for him. Some days the guilt of hurting a good man was too much for her.

Gracie loved her “Uncle Steve”; he was her playmate, her partner in mischief against Danno. Stan would never be in their position, Danno was her father and Steve, as far as she knew, made her Danno happy, so she loved him for that.

When they went in this trip Stan knew something was up. He remembered that Rachel had told him that Steve came to see Grace, he knew that the Commander would be making his move and he wanted his Gracie Daisy´s blessing, or so he guessed.

They were in Europe, and one day when he came back to their hotel, Rachel was crying and Gracie, it seemed, had cried herself to sleep.

“He was deployed and killed in action,” and he knew.

They wanted to come back, he could see it. Rachel wanted to come back and Grace barely said anything. He wanted to pleased them, but he heard Danny on the phone one day and understood that he couldn´t deal with Grace.

“We can´t come back, it isn´t fair to Grace or Danny, he needs time to mourn,” and he managed to convince his wife to stay. He wanted a chance to be there for Gracie; maybe this trip could make them a family.

That´s what he told himself every night before going to sleep thinking that he was negating the person Danny now needed the most.

But Stan had always been a business man. Why change now?

TBC


	10. Letter 5

Title: Dear Danno – Letter 5   
Auhtor notes: this is the next chapter in this story, hope you like it.  
Big thanks to my amazing beta Jerseybelle, for her amazing help.

 

They were staying in. Danny couldn´t even remember that ‘it was the best for Gracie and for him too’. It’s like she told him, “You need time to mourn” and he didn´t want to hear more. The bitch and Step Stan were keeping his baby away from him; they wanted to let Gracie heal, and he wanted to bang their heads with a hammer. They didn´t have the fucking right to keep his baby away from him or that was what Steve´s ghost told him.

Danny was lost, they all were now. He had seen Chin when he came by the house to talk to him. Malia wanted marriage and him away from the police force and the last thing he heard was when Chin told him that his door almost broke from the force of the slamming. Steve had made it possible for Chin to come back onto the force, to leave now would be disrespectful to his effort and memory and when Malia called the next day Chin told her to not bother again, they were over.

Kono, his beautiful friend, put Haikinini into the hospital because he went into Steve´s office and broke a toy car Steve kept from his father.

Danny was so enraged that he wanted to go to the hospital and break the bones Kono missed.

They were loosing their minds and Danny wondered if it was possible for all of them to go crazy? The answer was apparently yes, they missed Steve and he was gone and they were lost.

Danny´s mom had to leave; Danny kicked her out when she washed his bed sheets. He screamed at her so loud that he was sure he could be heard in the mainland, but the sheets had Steve´s smell, Danny´s pillow was impregnated with Steve´s cologne.

Danny was always sleeping; he didn´t want to be here. In sleepyland he could touch Steve. Yeah, awake he could talk to him but not touch, asleep he could.

“I miss you.”

“I´m here, Danno, see,” and Sleepyland Steve flashed his trademark, shit eating grin and made Danny so happy.

So Danny ran to him and Steve hugged him for hours; they made love in sleepyland, and Danny told Steve how much he loved him in sleepyland and he could hear Steve confessing how much he loved Danno in return and then they would kiss and go back to making love.

Danny was happy in Sleepyland his sun was there.

When he couldn´t sleep, Danny walked outside with Steve’s picture. He always took a letter with him in the afternoon, so he could see the sunset with Ghost Steve.

“Are you gonna finish all my letters?”

“Of course, babe, they´re mine.”

“Of course they are, Danno. Who else but you?”

“No one, the same way that there would be no one else but you. I love you, Steve, always and forever.”

“Always and forever,” Ghost Steve told him.

He grabbed another letter.

Dear Danno,  
Danno, I´m starting this in the clinic. We finally got here, but don´t you worry, I wasn´t badly injured but I couldn´t let a fellow SEAL die alone.

We got some major resistence and they were ruthless but we got them under control. Our info was wrong and we though we were going into a friendly zone. We were wrong.

Something is fishy here, Danno. We’re SEALs, we don´t make mistakes, not like this one. Another leader took his unit to do some recon when they were attacked. My guys were ready and I led them to help the other unit. This SEAL was another newbie and he got caught in the fire, took three to the chest and got himself in a trap. I sat with him and he looked at me. “Don´t leave me alone, sir, please.” I cradled him into my chest. “Does it hurt when you die? Do you feel something? Would I be a disgrace for the SEALs if I´m scared?” and he looked at me with his big green eyes and was begging me to be there for him and to answer him. “I don´t know if it hurts when you´re dying. I want to believe that all of your loved ones that are waiting for you in the light make themselve visible for you and you would never be a disgrace for the SEALs, no matter how scared you are.” I hugged him. It didn´t take him long to die. Fuck, Danny, this was another SEAL we lost and another kid we send home in a coffin.

We´re getting ready to go to our next target in this hunt; they´re waiting for me. My brothers decided that I´ll be the Alpha in the mission. We’re all feeling that something isn´t right here.

But enough about me. How is Gracie Daisy, is she with you, Danno, because if she is give her a kiss for me, would you. I know her birthday is close so I´m telling you her gift is in my study Give her what I bought, Danno; it’s for her, for my princess.

Are you leading the task force, Danno? I guess you are. Always be sure to eat something, like you always tell me ’work with no food makes a trigger happy-violence inclined boss’. 

How is Chin? I hope his relationship with Malia is on the tracks. And my protégée, Kono, please, Danno, let her blow something up.

Take care of our Ohana for me, Danno, and let them take care of you until I return.

I miss you, Danno, my partner, my friend, my... Ohana.

Wait for me, Danno.

Steve.

“Always and forever. Always and forever,” Danno told Ghost Steve.

TBC


	11. Mrs Williams

Title: Mrs. Williams   
Author notes: Hi, again. I had some time to write so I got a new chapter of this story.  
Amazing thanks to all of you who left a review and let me tell you that even if I didn´t put your names here, this chapter is for you.  
Big thanks to my wonderful beta Jerseybelle; I don´t know what would I do without you.

Rebecca Williams was in the plane heading to the mainland. Her son had kicked her out, screaming at her for washing his sheets, and that she should had known better. she was a widow herself, but she thought she was helping him. Now it would take her a lot of time to fix their relationship if she could.

She ached for her baby because she could see that he was losing himself in grief, his husband’s death was a devastating blow to him and to his friends.

She knew the story, she knew that they never got a chance to express their feelings, that her baby never got a chance to tell his husband that he was in love with him, that Steven Williams-McGarrett had made the arrangements for them to be husbands before being deployed.

She saw her baby sitting on the lanai looking out at the Ocean.

“You know, Mom, I used to hate the ocean I couldn´t stand the fact that we were surrounded by water, I always complained to Steve and you know what he said to me?

‘Well, Danno, we live on an island; of course we´re sorrounded by water’ and then he would laugh at me.”

I could see them having those arguments, an island boy and my Jersey son, it hurt me to see the raw pain in Danny´s eyes.

“Now, Mom, I can´t spend one day without listening the ocean. It makes me feel closer to Steve I guess.”

And he went back to staring, and then to the bottle. I couldn´t do a thing to stop him. I tried, but he didn´t want to listen to me.

Detective Kelly and his cousin Detective Kalakaua came and I could see for the first time that they looked nearly as bad as my son did. I ached because I knew they were dying, they were incomplete without their heart.

I tried to be there, to help them. I tried because he´s my son and they´re his Ohana, but I couldn´t. I failed my son, I failed him because I can´t reach him and I´m starting to think that nobody can, not even my grandbaby. I hate my ex daughter-in-law, she knows that Danny needs Grace, she has to know that but she doesn´t care.

My son is leaving me. He now sleeps most of the day; it’s like he doesn´t want to wake up, He’s changed a lot because, in the first days, he couldn´t sleep without a bottle, and even then he had horrible nightmares, waking up screaming, begging Steve to come back, to not leave him.

I stood in the doorway and rocked, back and forth, my tears were nothing compared to my baby’s. I wanted to hug him but he would always closed the door, pushing me away.

I´m leaving with the knowledge that my son is getting lost. I pray to a God that I´m angry at to make something happen, to help my baby and his Ohana.

I pray because is the only thing I can do now that I failed my baby.  
“I´m leaving you baby boy but I´ll come back, I promise” because a mom never leave her children alone.

TBC


	12. Letter 6

Title: Dear Danno-letter 6   
Author notes: hi again, this is the next chapter of this story, I hope you like it.  
Big Thanks to all of you who left a review.  
I bow to you, my amazing beta Jerseybelle.

 

Danny was sitting on the lanai. He had taken a shower and shaved, and now he had a sandwich. Today had been his first day back at work and now was resting.

Danny was now the leader of 5-0 and the Governor had told him that they need a new member. She even went to the point of suggesting someone whose name Danny only could remember as Cory, Tory or Lori. He didn´t care at all, because he was enraged that the Governor could think thay they could replace Steve so easily.

Steve couldn´t be replaced in Danny’s and his Ohana´s eyes because Steve was unique. He mumbled something to the Governor and went to the office.

Chin and Kono were his back up, and he was theirs, they didn´t need an outsider to mess what Steve and they had built; No, Danny was going to fight this. Chin and Kono were very upset with this news and they wanted to give the Governor a piece of their minds but Danny told them that this was his fight.

He did some paperwork and went home. He tried to call Gracie but Rachel´s cellphone was turned off; he cursed Rachel and Stan but he promised they would get their punishment.

He went to the cemetery today to see his husband and brought some pink and red carnations and left them there. Today was a day where Danny saw Steve everywhere, could smell him everywhere and could almost touch him. Danny knew that wherever Steve was, he would always be with him, even when that didn´t make this easy.

Danny wanted Steve with him. He wasn´t sure he could still do this job without his partner and it pained him to admit that coming to work today didn´t fill him with anything other than pain to have to see Steve´s office empty.

Now, alone as usual, when he took time to read his goof´s letter, Danny was looking at Steve´s sea.

Danny,

Hi, Danny, it’s me, your amazing friend, Steve. How are you, D? 

Dan, things are getting complicated here and I´m breaking a lot of rules but I don´t like a lot of the things going on here. I think we´re compromised, and the worst part is that I think we have a mole. I´m searching, Danny, and if I find that I´m right, there will be hell to pay and the game will have changed.

Oh, Danno, you have no idea how I miss you guys, how I miss my home, but I promise you, Danno, I´ll get there.

I´ll be home to talk to you, Danno, I promise.

Trust me, Danno.

Steve.

“Oh, Babe, what did you get involved in?”

Danny´s mind was working overtime right now. What Steve had meant in this letter, could there have been more to his death than just enemy action?

Danny now wanted to know.

TBC

Author notes 2: Pink carnation, I will never forget you  
Red carnation, my heart aches for you  
Again dedicated to Horndog333 your review always makes me smile, thank you for that   
J I had seen your new job and is great keep doing it


	13. Kono Kalakaua

Title: Kono Kalakaua   
Author notes: hi we´re getting closer to the end and I wanted to say thanks to all of you who left a review, and put my story in alert.  
Big thanks to you Jerseybelle for your amazing help.  
Song: How do I get there by Deana Carter   
Song: Dreaming of you by Selena   
Song: Have you Ever? by Brandi 

 

“We've always been the best of friends  
No secrets and no demands  
But suddenly from somewhere out of the blue  
I see a different light around you  
One thing I haven't told you, I just want to hold you  
And never let go, I need to know  
How do I get there from here  
how do I make you see...”

Kono Kalakaua was surfing the waves again, thinking that she had never had the chance to make him see, he had always belonged to Danny, and for her he only had a friendly smile.

She was an only child but found in her cuz, Chin Ho Kelly, her familiar soul mate; he had always been there for her, her best friend in the entire world. When he fell in disgrace she was with him and stood against their entire family for her cuz.

Then years passed and one day her cuz came with a haole and him. The first time she saw his amused face she loved him. She was a strong person and wanted to tell him because to her he had proved himself worthy by giving her cuz an opportunity without question.

But as time went by, she saw...he wasn´t for her.

“Wonder if you ever see me   
and I wonder if you know I am there   
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside?   
Would you even care?..”

She tried for a long time to make him see. She couldn´t understand why he didn´t see her, it wasn´t until she really saw him that she knew she wasn´t the one made for his happy ending, Danny was. He was in love with him, he had closed his eyes to everyone but the chosen one, and he had chosen Danny, leaving her only the space of a friend.

“Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
You can't sleep at night  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right  
Have you ever, have you ever...”

As time went on, she thought that she could at least tell him, make him aware of her feelings, but she couldn´t. She wasn´t that strong to see the rejection in his face, she didn´t wanted to see him changing around her, so she keep quiet, she silenced her heart, she learned to feel only friendship, only loyalty for the man that was her prince.

And one day he was gone and with him, he took half of her heart.

She cried in silence because her love, tears wouldn´t be understood, because only Danny had that right, but it hurt too much, because she loved him, and every feeling came back to her.

She stood by Danny, along side her cuz, and they faced the darkness that was swallowing them, and she let go because maybe if she burned it will stop the pain.  
She stood there by her Ohana with silenced tears because she wasn´t the chosen one, because her prince give his heart to somebody else...

TBC


	14. Letter 7

Title: Dear Danno - letter 7   
Author notes: hi we´re getting close to the end and I wanted to say big thanks to all of you who stuck by me in this story.  
Big thanks to my beta, Jerseybelle, for all your help.

 

Danny was again looking at Kono. He could tell that he was missing something, but he couldn´t put his finger on it.

Chin was worried for her, too, but was better at hiding this.

Danny wasn´t fine; he was still in pain. Losing Steve wasn´t something you get past in a lifetime, but the company of Ghost Steve helped him a lot.

Danny had called the NCIS office to ask about his husband’s death but he didn´t get much. Something wasn´t right, he could tell. Rage filled his soul because he could smell betrayal. Steve´s death wasn´t as clear as they had made it seem, and he had a lot to think about.

Drinking wasn´t an option; he needed a clear mind.

He wanted his daugther back but he knew that he was powerless to face Stan or at least that´s what he thought. Steve left him all his money and left him people willing to help him only because he had loved their friend.

Brianna Parker was one of them; she was a woman that Steve had saved in one of his missions. He had saved her entire family, even going against his orders because she was the only one to be saved according to his “superiors”. Brianna tracked him down and told him that whatever or whenever he or a loved one of his needed help, just called her.

She was a lawyer on the mainland; she was ruthless a shark. When he talked to her and told her about Steve´s death she already knew, and she knew who he was, too. Steve had called her and told her about him. When he told her about his daugther she was enraged and promised him that Gracie would be back. He didn´t need to worry, she or one of her associated would handle Stan and Rachel and they would be sorry.

Danny was again in his home, but this time he wasn’t looking out onto Steve’s ocean, was in his bed, wearing one of Steve´s shirts, but it was so big in him that if his goof could see him he would never live it down.

He took another letter.

Danno, 

My last letter wasn´t long and I´m going to apologize because this one won´t be, either. Things are complicated. I don´t trust anyone but my friend “DarkRay”. I think, as I told you, that we´re being betrayed and someone is selling us out.  
I miss you, Danny, but have faith in me I´m gonna be back and we´re gonna have a talk and I hope ...Oh I hope, Danny ...I hope for one thing.

Steve.

 

PS: Have faith in me, Danno. I´ll find out what the heck is going on.

Give my princess a kiss.

Danny read this and knew that Steve had stumble into something. “But what? What did you found out, babe? What?”

TBC


	15. Chin Ho Kelly

Title: Chin Ho Kelly   
Author notes: hi we´re getting close to the end so Thanks for being there with me.  
Jerseybelle, my amazing beta, you´re a godsend.

 

The first time Chin Ho Kelly heard the McGarrett last name was with a different man. John McGarrett was the finest police officer a rookie like him could ask for. He was hard but fair; he really took time to train you, not just have you do the reports.

When he was accused of stealing that money and was separated from the force his friend never believed the charges and put more than one person in the hospital for badmouthing him. Soon the others learned that you never mess with a McGarrett.

Then John died and another McGarrett came, one Chin had meet on just a few occasions. Steven McGarrett was a force to be reckoned with, you had to notice him. He was an imposing figure, one that you couldn´t take your eyes away from.

When he and Danny Williams came to see him, Chin could tell that his life was about to change. Being asked to join the task force took him by surprise, he tried to refuse, but his friend´s son never let him and took his word about his innocence without hesitation and in that moment he earned Chin´s loyalty.

When Steve gave his cuz an amazing opportunity without much questioning he knew this was really a life changing moment. They were part of something now; he was again part of an Ohana.

He cared about his boss. Chin knew he carried a lot of pain inside him, a lot of guilt and he decided that he was going to be there for his boss, his friend, from now on.

When the first month passed he suspected Steve was in love with someone. It took him a while but on his birthday he finally saw it, Steven loved Danny.

When he though about it, they fit together in a way that Danny didn´t fit with anyone and that included Rachel, so Chin prepared himself to be there when Danny opened his eyes and saw it. But time passed and that never happened. He wanted to say something, he wanted to make them see it, but he didn´t; this was something that they needed to see for themselves. But they never did, their fear and blindness was stronger and Steve got deployed, and everything went to hell, his boss was killed in action.

They fell in the dark pit; they had lost their Ohana´s heart.

Danny was lost in shadows and demons, Kono was drowning herself, and he was filled with guilt because he could have stopped this.

They fell hard because they didn´t have their protective net to catch them.  
Chin could do nothing other than see his beloved Ohana as it died right in front of his eyes. Malia, his love, betrayed him; betrayed him by asking him to forget about the man who returned his honor.

Chin did everything he could but it was never enough.

Time stopped, day became night, and hope became pain.

Chin saw; Chin felt every change his life took. He was unable to find something to help his Ohana and that was failing the man that always stood by him.

So every morning he woke up, swallowed his pain and kept trying. Chin will keep trying because he owed it to the second McGarrett he met.

And you never let down a McGarrett...


	16. Letter 8

Title: Dear Danno - Letter 8   
Author notes: Hi just two chapters more and the end is here.  
Jerseybelle thanks amazing beta for always being there.

 

Danny had a clear mind now, he had been talking to some SEAL wives that were in the same unit as Steve and found them all surrounded by pain; all except one.

Charlotte Duncan refused to believe that the man she buried was her husband, “They give me a burned body; they were unable to identify the remains. No, that´s not my Samuel, he promise me he was going to be there when our baby is born and he never failed to keep his promise. That´s not him.”

And that led Danny to thinking because the only thing they used to identify Steve´s body were his tags. Danny never saw Steve and they didn´t let Mary Ann see it.

What happened?

Steve´s letters were telling him that something wasn´t right and for the first time in months his mind was focused into something other than pain.

Danno, 

I found the mole and I killed him, but I don´t believe that I took down the trouble, something bigger is happening here and I don´t like to feel that I´m in the middle or that I´m the price.

They´re not getting anything, D, I´m gonna fight them as hard as I can and as long as I can. My men will not die here and I´m not gonna be killed here, Danny. I have a lot to hope for at home.

Steve.

PS: have faith in me, Danno, I´ll get home.

“Did I loose my faith too soon Steve? What are you trying to telling me?”

Danny Williams-McGarrett was now full of doubts and questions.

What was going on?

 

TBC


	17. Steven McGarrett

Title: Steven McGarrett  
Author notes: hi one chapter to go and a surprise to meet.  
I hope you like it.  
Jerseybelle amazing beta thanks for all.  
Song: Everything by Lifehouse 

 

“Find me here  
Speak to me  
I want to feel you  
I need to hear you  
You´re the light  
That´s leading me  
To the place I find peace again  
You´re the strenght, that keeps me walking  
You´re the hope, that keeps me trusting  
You´re the light to my soul  
You´re my purpose...you´re my everything...”  
“How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?.”

Steve was tired, so very tired. He and his team were hiding; they were being hunted like animals and a lot of them were injured, Steve included. But they kept going, Steve kept going. He had Danny to go back home to, he had the idea of telling Danny about his feelings.

The letters he’d been writing were secure. He didn´t know if he was going to give them to Danny but he may after telling him about his feelings.

Steve, again, remembered when he had lost a fellow SEAL, he was just a kid and that shook him a lot. Steve stayed with him ´til the end.

Steve knew he had to do something. He was so tired, but he could see they were counting on him.

“You calm the storms, and you give me rest  
You hold me in your hands, you won´t let me fall  
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away  
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?”

Steve knew what the only thing to do was. When his unit found the burning zone he instructed his men what they needed to do, it was the only way for them to have some space; maybe they could work something out.  
Something bigger was going on.

Steve could feel his body shutting down, he was really sick but he kept going.  
When it was clear what was going on he knew he was in charge of all of them, Steve understood that he was their lider, he had to think of something. 

“You need to find a safe place to hide. You need to make sure your men are safe.”   
Then he understood who could help them, because there was no way in hell he was going to leave, leaving those men there, only Danny and his Ohana could help.  
He put his dog tags and the letters on that body and they left. They couldn´t trust anyone.

“How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?  
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?..”

“Danny, have faith in me.” 

The others could see that their leader’s health was failing. They were amazed at his will to keep going; he was a legend for most of them.

Samuel Halliwell or “Dark Ray”, Steve´s friend, knew that his friend had to have a reason for wanting to get home. Sam could tell that Steve was in love, and was very happy for his friend and leader.

“´Cause you´re all I want, you´re all I need   
You´re everything, everything  
You´re all I want, you´re all I need   
You´re everything, everything  
You´re all I want, you´re all I need   
You´re everything, everything  
You´re all I want, you´re all I need, You´re everything, everything...”  
“And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?..”  
“How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?..”  
“How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?..”

They were being hunted, but Steve wasn´t letting this life go. He was fighting back, he had an Ohana now.

“Sir, please drink this.”

“I´m fine.”

“I know, Sir, but we need you to be better than fine, so please, Sir, drink this.”

“Danny is coming.”

“What, Sir?”

“Danny will come, we need to wait.”

“We will, Sir, but you need to hang in there.”

“I will, I promise.”

Yes, he had promised and he would never fail Gracie or Danny.

He was going to hang in there until Danny came.  
TBC


	18. Letter 9

Title: Dear Danno - Letter 9  
Auhtor notes: well this is the end for now...  
Thanks to all of you who left a review.  
Jerseybelle, see you in the next story and my deepest gratitude for being an amazing beta 

 

Danny had the last letter in his hand. He was shaking with rage because of what Steve had gone through and was still going through. Danny still couldn´t believe what the letter was saying, he was terrified to believe in the writen words.

Dear Danno,

Danny, for a long time I thought about how I was going to tell you how much I love you but in a million years though about this.  
I love you, Danno. You became part of my life, of my heart, a long time ago and because of some stupid fear, I didn´t tell you this face to face, but better now than never.

Danno, I´m so in love with you that my heart does the damn flip flops whenever I see you. You and Princess Grace became my reason; you became my shield against the demon that haunted me.

I´m sorry, Danno, that I didn´t tell you this before deployment, but I was going to. Finally, I shook the fear of rejection away and I was going to ask you on a date and later, as I promised my Princess, I was going to asked you to marry me. Yeah, Danno, me, Super SEAL, I, Steve J McGarrett want you to marry me, to be with me for all eternity.

Deployment took a lot of me, and as I’ve been telling you, this assigment was odd from day one, but I´m a SEAL and I do this to protect my Country, my Ohana and nobody was going to mess with that.

This was a trap, they wanted the three SEALs that were send. We were hunted like animals and delivered here. Why? I still don´t know but I´ll find out I´m not good, Danny. I was injured and I can tell my health is getting worse as days go by but I´ll fight with my men. I faked my death because I don´t trust anyone in the chain of Command. I´m so sorry if I caused you pain, love, but this was the only way to protect my men and to give me time to figure things out

I need your help, Danno. I only have ten men. The other teams were caught and I intend to release them, but I need your help. We can´t count on the chiefs because don´t know where their loyalties remain. I need you to find my old chief; his name´s Joe White, and tell him about our situation and get him to help you.

Please, love, I can´t leave these men here and I´m unable to help them all. I need my Ohana´s help. Get Chin and Kono to help you track Joe and you´ll need “Blood Hound” too, his name´s James Calloway , he´s one of the best.

I´m not going to die in here, Danno. I´ll hold on, I promise you.

With all my love  
Steven 

When Danny finished reading this to a stunned Chin and Kono he saw the same resolution in their eyes.

“When do we leave?” was the cousin’s question.

“Wait for me, babe, Danno is comming, wait for me...” Yes, he was now on a mission. He was going to bring Steve back home and God help anyone who stands in his and his Ohana´s way.

The End 

Author Notes 2: Well this is the end of this story the sequel is comming soon.  
What did you think about this ending?


End file.
